The Ultimate Top 50 Funniest, Strangest and Just PlainTerrible Chat Up Lines Ever Invented

This list contains the most random, funny and terrible chat up lines ever invented. They have obviously not been designed to impressed and if used they are guaranteed not to get you a date any time soon!





1. Girl, you gotta be tired cuz you been running through my mind.

2. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!

3. Do you have a boyfriend? (No) Want one? (Yes) Well, when you want a MAN friend, come and talk to me.

4. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, can I have yours?

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

6. Which pickup line works best for you?

7. I'm desperate, I'll take anyone. You'll do.

8. Can I have your library card? Because I wanna check you out.

9. I have Skittles in my mouth. Wanna taste the rainbow?

10. I hope you know CPR... 'cause you take my breath away!

11. Do you have a map? Because I'm lost in your eyes.

12. Hey sweetie, you just dropped something...my jaw!

13. Your hands are soft like a catfish's belly!

14. Do you have any raisins? How about a date?

15. If I had one chance to rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together

16. Are you a parking ticket cuz you got fine written all over you

17. Is your dad a thief? because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes.

18. Is your dad a beaver? because DAMN your fine!

19. There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

20. Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven.

21. Hey, i remember seeing your picture in the dictionary for the definition of 'beautiful'

22. if women were flowers you'd be the one I'd pick

23. You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

24. I'm fighting the desire to make you the happiest woman on earth

25. its a crime to look that fine!

26. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

27. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

28. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? (No.) Well then, please start.

29. If I followed you home, would you keep me?

30. What time do you have to be back in heaven?

31. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

32. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

33. Is it hot in here or is it you?

34. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

35. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

36. "My friend thinks you're hot, and if it's any consolation so do I."

37. "Someone as lovely as you deserves to talk to someone much better than me."

38. You're ugly but you intrigue me

39. I think you're the most beautiful girl I have ever seen... On a Wednesday

40. It's your lucky day - my girlfriend dumped me last night, so I'm back on the singles market

41. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

42.When God made you he was showing off.

43. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south?

44. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

45. I bet your last name must be Jacobs? because I think your a real cracker.

46. If kisses were snowflakes, I'd send you a blizzard.

47. You're such a sweetie you could run cadburys out of business.

48. 'my heart’s broken, could you fix it for me'

49. I’ve heard that sugar dissolves in water so don’t go out when it’s raining, I don’t want to lose you'

50. 'If you were a tear in my eye, I wouldn't cry for fear of losing you.'"

Top 20 Terrible Break Up Lines!

After looking through loads and loads of break up lines we have narrowed it down to just 20! These are the ultimate in terrible and should never be used.....not even as a joke......but seriously no...never!

1. We need to talk.
2. Give me back my keys.
3. It's not your fault. It's me
4. Have you always been so boring?
5. I've lied.
6. Do you really want to know why I go out to dinner with my assistant?
7. Do you remember when I’ve said everything is alright?
8. I don't love you any more.
9. You are like a sister/brother to me.
10. I think we would be better off friends.
11. It's not that you're not hot. It's just that your friend is not the hottest person I've ever met.
12. If the phone doesn't ring, it's probably me
13. I really like you, but my parole officer doesn't.
14. Now that Half Life 2 is out, I need to refocus my priorities.
15. I'd like a true beauty so I don't have to spend so much time photoshopping your ugly face out of our photos.
16. I'm sorry. It's just I feel I can do better.
17. You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal.
18. My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture
19. No, seriously, I thought you were a man the whole time we were dating.
20. Remember when I asked you out?? Well.... I was talking to the girl behind you!

Top 10 First Date Ideas For 2010

Ever been in the situation where you have a really important date lined up but you have no idea where to take them or what to do when your there? Well this could be just what your looking for! The 'Top 10 First Date Ideas For 2010' guide has been designed with you in mind each date option is explained in detail with Time, Costs, Benefits and Downsides all fully explained.

1. Take your date ice skating

Time: around Half an hour Cost: Varies depending on where you go usually around £5 - £15 per person Benefits: If you already know how to Rollerblade this is an ideal first date because it is likely that your date will not know how to ice skate/Rollerblade so will be dependent on you to help them. This is a good first date if you want to show someone that you are trusting and caring because your date will have to trust you to help them through it. Downsides: If you don't already know how to roller blade/ice skate then you could end up looking clumsy. This shouldn't matter though because your date will most likely find it funny especially if they are falling all over the place as well!

2. Take your date to mini golf

Time: Depending on the course around 1hrs - 2hrs Cost: Around £4 - £8 Benefits: This date is an ideal first date. Most mini golf courses are a great atmosphere for a first date because they usually attract a lot of other couples and families so you and your date will not feel alienated. Also whilst playing mini golf there is a lot of time for conversation so you can get to know your date a little better at the same time! Downsides: If you win don't expect another date! But seriously sometimes mini golf can get boring, especially if there is not a lot of conversation going on, so make sure that you have a lot to talk about and remember to pay attention to them and what they want to talk about.

3. Take your date to a comedy club

Time: 2hrs - 3hrs Cost: Free Benefits: Not only is this date usually free its also a great one if you want to get to know your date a little better. Most people enjoy a good comedy night and it is quite easy to find a local comedy club which puts on open mike nights once a week for free. This gives you and your date the opportunity to see some of the new rising talents in the world of comedy Downsides: Sometimes a comedian isn't funny and completely flops in front of the audience. This in itself can often be quite entertaining however, some people get uncomfortable when this happens so be sure to make sure your date isn't one of these peoples before you go.

4. Take your date to an amusement park

Time: The whole day Cost: Ticket prices range from £30 - £35 (or £15 - £20 with a buy one get one free voucher) Benefits: An amusement park is a great place to have a first date because they are literally filled with fun things to do. Also you can use the time waiting in the cues to talk to your date and find out more about them. Downsides: Amusement parks can be quite expensive. The ticket price is usually around £30 and that's just to get in! However, you can cut that ticket price in half with a buy one get one free vouchers which you can get from a range of places some even online. Why not try googling 'buy one get one free vouchers' for the amusement park you want to go to.

5. Take your date mystery shopping

Time: 1hrs - 2hrs Cost: Free Benefits: This can be a fun date as mystery shopping can involve anything from a trip to a restaurant to a spending spree around a shopping centre. If your interested in this why not sign up to one of your local mystery shopping agencies. To find one just search 'Mystery Shopper Agencies' online. Downsides: Although mystery shopping can be a pleasant experience, sometimes you can find yourself in a run down restaurant which serves poor quality food.This will not impress your date at all in the slightest so it is very important that you do your research and take a look at the restaurant / shop before you go. If you can try and find some positive reviews about the place online before you go there.

6. Take your date paint balling

Time: 1/2 Day Cost: Depends on the amount of paintball you use. Benefits: A fun active way of getting to know your date. Often shows you the true nature of your date and if they are violent or aggressive! Downsides: Paint balling hurts!, so its not for the light hearted

7. Take your date rollerblading in the park

Time: As long as you want Cost: Free Benefits: Rollerblading is another great idea for a first date. It gives you a chance to chat to and get to know your date whilst enjoying a fun healthy activity. This idea is especially good if it is a hot summers day and there is a local park where you can go. Downsides: It may be embarrassing if you cannot roller blade but this probably wont be a problem if both of you can't because you will be learning together and enjoying yourselves!

8. Take your date out for coffee

Time: 45mins - 1hr Cost: £5 - £7.50 Benefits: Sometimes it is nice on a first date just to take your date out for a coffee and a chat. You will find that if you open your ears and listen to your date you can find out lots about them! This type of date really focuses on talking which is essential if you want to continue the relationship and get a second date. Downsides: The date is likely to be very short if you haven't got much to say to one another. You may find yourself sitting in an awkward silence not knowing what to say, this is in no way ideal for a first date! Make sure you have lots to talk about before you go otherwise be prepared for the worst.

9. Take your date to dinner

Time: 1hr - 1.5hrs Cost: Depends on the restaurant Benefits: Like taking your date out for coffee you get the benefit of being able to talk to your date and discover more about them. You also get to see if the two of you would really work together or if its all just a passing phase. Often restaurants are viewed as being quite romantic and the right restaurant with the right type of atmosphere could see you on your way to getting that second date. Downsides: Because you are in a restaurant you are forced to talk to your date. Unlike taking your date out for coffee you have to stay in the restaurant until your order comes which means you have to keep the conversation going. If you haven't got much to talk about you risk being confronted with awkward silences. Impressing? I don't think so somehow...

10. Take your date go Karting

Time: 20 - 30mins Cost: £20 (depending on what track you go to) Benefits: Fun, Fast, Furious! Downsides: Expensive, Scary for some......

Never Stop Dreaming

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